Fam(ily) Matters

Family matters

For the past year I’ve been dealing with a family matter. No one has officially asked me to take a side & not for nothing it has been better for me to act oblivious to the fact. Neither has declared a direct issue with each other, they just aren't speaking, even though as family we know the issue.  This is how I’ve stayed neutral. 

1. Set Clear Boundaries

I love them both but that’s a them problem. 

2. Be an Active Listener

Sometimes, family members just want to be heard. Listen without offering judgment or taking a position. Saying things like “I understand why you feel that way, but what does that have to do with me.” 

3. Avoid Gossip and Negative Talk

If someone tries to vent to you about the other person, steer the conversation in a neutral direction or say:
“I respect both of you, and I don’t want to speak negatively about anyone.” or just act like you didn't hear it or just drop the call right there and then, I'm serious just hang up. 

4. Offer Support Without Bias

Encourage conflict resolution without inserting yourself into the problem. Suggest solutions like open communication or a simple leave me alone and speak to the person you have issues with.

5. Stay True to Your Values

Even if pressured, remember that your role is to maintain peace and balance, for yourself forget what they have going on. 

6. If Necessary, Step Back

If the situation becomes too toxic or overwhelming, distance yourself. I’ve ignored calls and texts to keep out of it. If  I don't talk to neither side oh well for them.

If you’ve read this far and haven’t notice some of this is satire, heyyyy ;) honestly I’ve lived life weighed down by families personal yet quiet issues amongst each other that became increasingly loud into adulthood. I choose know one because all have been right and wrong. I chose me now.